Todo Vendimia (everything vintage)

don’t say it because i don’t wish to hear it
i must not fuss over the overbearing
sitting for so long
waiting for so little
i shake my head in disapproval
taking my drink and walk away
these shadows follow me 
they feel sadness should cloud my soul
but i dress in black and walk gingerly
as i raise my drink for these songs have ended
and prepare for my next endeavor

I’d shudder to think of where I’m at to where I’d like to be.  It is a futile attempt at restraining all strengths and consider the space in time to the empty feeling of depth.  I’ve allowed myself to wander those dark places again when I shouldn’t have.  I remember them quite well, I remember the boy who entered them and the man who emerged afterward.  I lost something on the way.  Now I know where I should be, what I should do and where I will never go again.

See the strengths I speak of always resided around me but were put away by unnecessary anxieties, they were not purposed to help nor were they ever to resurface from a long time ago.  Regretfully they slowly made way into my adulthood, they stumped an inner growth and caged what I am now.  Yes there was remnants you got to see, remnants of me made you laugh and smile.  That bit of me was always true.  But there was the other part of me that wasn’t meant to be there.

Yet I sit here trying to explain the simplicity of my situation without sounding like a pompous jerk by eviscerating sound words and turning them into my odd poetry of sorts.  Sorry, I’ve been reading too much.

I hope you find me whole and sane.  If you do please remind me of why I’m here, not crying or laughing or making sarcastic remarks but just because I became the man I lost a long time ago.

Your lies are more attractive than the truth….

Loooooooooooove is all I want.

I haven’t been thrifting with my folks in ages. I must say, its an adventure, its hilarious and quite an enjoyable experience. I found an old mirror, yes its vintage. We’re on our way to a consignment store on the outskirt of the city listening to Luis Miguel whilst father carefully sips his 18oz. Budweiser & Clamato. Life is grand.